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Couples Conference 2009

The theme of this year’s couple conference was ‘Forever Yours’. It was a befitting theme as we recognised that after being born again, our choice of a marriage partner is the most important thing in our earthly lives, and this choice will undoubtedly influence every facet of our living - our attitude, actions, values and most of all our spiritual relationship with God - The Bible says, “keep your marriage in order that your prayers be not hindered” (Peter 3:7). Our Pastor, Rev. Isaac Adigun, started the conference by ensuring couples to sit together. About 35 couples were in attendance, ranging from newly weds to those who have been together for decades, and attendees included saints from Spain and other UK branches.


 
The day started with a session of singing together, after which spouses introduced each other, mentioning pet names they call each other. It was a thrilling time as we heard various romantic names, and there were moments when we were in stitches of laughter. The day was spiced up by intermittent romantic moments. At these times the Pastor ensured that spouses looked directly into each others eyes to relay those reassuring words, ‘Forever Yours’ (romantic eh?).

 

 

The Pastor led a discussion session on ‘Marriage Commitment’. This centered around God's plan with regards to marriage as a lifetime commitment, and binding for life, and with the reassurance that we can rely on God’s strength to cope with the challenges in marriage. Some of the learning points of that session include:-


The underlining reason behind marriage failures, is because, God is kept out of it or one/both partners have not been willing to follow the guidelines God set out for all marriages. The formula for a successful marriage is, 'Husbands love your wives, even has Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it' (Ephesians 5:25) and 'Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord' (Ephesians 5:22). A marriage is successful when the wife helps her husband to be the leader in the home, and both follow the Lord together.



The second session before lunch focused on tackling problems faced in some marriages, especially based on our congregation make up. This was accomplished by splitting into three groups, and sharing practical advice together based on three scenarios. The scenarios focused on the following areas:-
  • Scenario 1: Financial Management in the Home
  • Scenario 2: Intimacy and Relationship among Couples
  • Scenario 3: Companionship and Decision Making in the Home
Some of the key points learnt from this session include:-
  • Within a marriage relationship the husband and wife are partners who are dedicated to one another. A bond of uncompromising devotion creates a healthy atmosphere for togetherness: studying God's Word, praying, and even managing money.
  • Just as it takes two to make a marriage successful, it takes two to establish clear lines of communication in financial planning.
  • All big marriage troubles starts off with little troubles. We should therefore work out these little problems before they have a chance to grow. 
  • Couples should pay special attention to their marriage commitments.
  • Trust is a key factor in the successful maintenance of a marriage as this offers transparency. 
  • We can also add value and enrich our marriages, by complimenting our partners and helping with daily.
  • The bible enjoins each husband to be considerate in living with their wife, treat her with respect, understand her unique feminine needs, and remember she is his co-heir of salvation.
  • Men ought to tune in to the way women are made. The bible enjoins husbands to lay down their lives for their wives.
Couples were to:
  • Be sure to make time for each other and have fun together
  • Keep talking and keep listening to each other
  • Study the ways their partner feels loved.
  • Discuss differences and pray together
  • Practice forgiveness
  • Do not neglect sexual intimacy.

Lunch time was a great time of fellowship and enjoyment. Big thanks to the Welfare Team for laying out a delicious lunch which we all tucked into joyfully.

The afternoon session focused on ‘Checklists’ - one set for the Husbands, and another for the Wives. These covered many different aspects which are sometimes lacking, but are of utter importance and totally necessary for the process of keeping our marriages spiced up and on fire. Below are extracts from the checklists.  The desired effect was to prompt us to examine where we were lacking and help improve on these in our own marriages. 
 


From Husband Checklist
  • How long has it been since you took your family on a proper vacation
  • Do you really listen to her?
  • When did you last say 'I love you more than anyone in the world'?
  • Do you support her by praying with her and the children? 

 

 

 

From Wife Checklist

  • How long has it been since you gave him a chance to unwind when he came home from work?
  • When did you last say what you are upset about, rather than holding it inside?
  • Do you support him by not bringing up his past mistakes?
 

Our retired Pastor, Reverend Victor Okusanya gave us very interesting and inspirational contribution from past experience. He emphasized the importance of spouses making and finding quality time to spend together. One thing is certain, Marriage is for life, and it is a life time commitment, which can only be dissolved in the sight of God by death – (Mark 10: 6-9)

The final exercise for the day was a challenge to us! We were asked to do at least one thing different this week that would make a definite difference in our marriages. With the marriage contract binding for life, it was only sensible to make marriage as enjoyable as possible?

We ended the lovely day with a prayer session on two main points:-
  • Inviting God into our different marriages, to help us with renewed commitments and also,
  • And also for God’s intervention in any breaking or broken marriages.

 
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12/04/2020
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