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COUPLES CONFERENCE: 21 OCTOBER 2010

 
 
 
 
COUPLES CONFERENCE: 21 OCTOBER 2010 THEME: TOTAL LOVING CARE (TLC) By Albert Fadairo
PARTICIPANTS
The excitement generated by the Couples’ Conference 2010 was shown by the fact that some couples arrived a day before the programme. For the first time the conference was held outside London in the sprawling Metropolis of Greater Manchester at our new church building. This gave many of us the opportunity to see our new Manchester church. On the day, 23rd October 2010, couples arrived early enough for the programme including delegates from Aberdeen, Cardiff, Bristol, Birmingham, Aylesbury, etc. but those travelling from London were delayed by some problems on the motorway. But thank God they arrived safely afterwards.

COMMENCEMENT
The conference started at 11 o’clock in the morning with a welcome address by Rev. Isaac Adigun, during which he called for prayers for all the homes facing challenges. After the address, all the delegates sang ‘Love lifted me’ joyfully and prayerfully as a prelude to the opening prayer by Bro. Fadairo; all the delegates then fell down before the Lord, asking Him to intervene urgently in the relationships and homes facing testing times, and to put a stop to the current wave of attacks on Christian homes across the world.

INTRODUCTION OF COUPLES
During the introduction of delegates it came to light that there is a plethora of professional skills within our body of believers and it is thought that this should enhance trade, patronage and/or assistance within our congregation. This simple exercise revealed God’s blessing on His church! The skills profiles range from Architecture to IT facilitators, DIY experts, Accounts executives, Resource Personnel managers, Proprietors, Communication experts, Housing officials, Council officers, Engineers and health care experts.

DIVISION INTO GROUPS
Each couple attending this conference received one programme of events. Rev. Isaac Adigun, the conference facilitator, spoke about the principal challenge of these days (broken homes) and its implications, as well as the importance of this conference; to enable us to examine prevailing challenges and learn new things that would make our homes better homes. It would also have the effect of opening our minds to our shortcomings so that we could make the necessary amendments that will ensure God’s blessings on our homes. Participants were divided into groups by gender and each group was further divided into two sub-groups to enhance free flow of expression between delegates. The smaller groupings, it is believed, would make for better opportunity for self-expression and this should allow participants to gain more from the conference. The London delegates arrived by coach just after 2 o’clock in the afternoon and joined the conference. Rev. Adigun gave a brief review of the topics concluded just before the new arrivals. In addition he emphasised a number of points: That once love is made the foundation of marriage, the scripture (Ephesians 5; 25-29) chosen for the theme of this conference would be easy to achieve.
That we should continue to prayerfully woo our spouses as when we just began.
  • That we should ask ourselves how we can keep our love as hot as when we first met.
  • That God would help us to open-up and humbly learn from these discussions and so prevent problems from ever rocking our homes again,
  • That Love is mutual submission, one to another.
  • That submission is not equal to servanthood.
Points on TLC from Each Group Discussion

Brief recap of each group discussion: A representative of Female group one started by reading Ephesians 5:25-29 after which she highlighted the following major points from their discourse.

The wife:
  • should not hide anything from her husband
  • should be prepared at all times to help him
  • should support sending things to the husband’s family in genuine need
  • should ensure that her love find no faults
  • should understand that they are from different backgrounds, with different skills and values but this should only enrich their love for each other.
  • should learn to apologise where necessary and keep problems solved within the home. Do not invite a third party.
  • should not keep your hurt forever. Nursing a hurt for a long time poisons the love you have.
  • should stop referring to former faults and errors
  • should be careful how you talk, especially if you tend to be outspoken. Words spoken carelessly or in moments of anger do a great deal of damage.
  • should understand her spouse
  • should remember the great “Power of touch”; a way to communicate love and care. e.g. a pat on the back, walking close together while holding hands, whispering sweet words to each other, rest on each other’s chest or shoulder; massage each other’s legs before going to bed. Massage is a form of contact or connection (contact Bro. Bayo Ladeinde of AFC London for more information on massage techniques).

The Female group two representative reported the following:
  • Make your home worth coming back to. The husband should not be afraid of coming home!
  • Don’t be too busy to listen to him
  • Pray to make yourself open and through this, many problems might be solved
  • Husband and wife should submit to each other
  • Communicate with your partner rather than issue instructions or shout
  • Don’t hide your income. If you do, either of you may misjudge each other, thinking you earn far more than you actually do.
  • Be each other’s burden bearer
  • Be each other’s helper
  • Treat your husband as your first born and serve him the very best of everything
  • Go out together as much as possible
  • Whatever the problems, you need no third party except Jesus
  • Whatever your wife talks of having, get it for her where it is affordable. Let her know you decided to buy it because you where thinking of her. Men’s groups raised the following points:
  • Be ready to support your wife at all times
  • Be sure you are dying to self daily; be open minded
  • Be sure that you do not have agenda that your wife is unaware of or any skeleton in your cupboard.
  • Communication is vital: make it an everyday recipe, break-time, at work, etc
  • Carry your wife along with you always, whatever the project may be.
  • God’s law and mathematics of life is 1 + 1 = 1. Remember you are no longer 2 people but 1 in God.
  • Consciously resolve to overlook all faults, whatever they may be.
  • Have emotional understanding to control your demands for physical relationships
The facilitator in addition noted that his wife once said to him “I am also a church member” referring to his constantly paying attention to the needs of his congregation. This made him to include her in his to-do list. The lesson here is: do not be too busy attending to others at the expense of your spouse. This applies regardless of the job that you do, even if you become the future Pastor. We read I Peter 3: 5-7, “that your prayers be not hindered.”

The first session ended with the closing prayer said by Bro. Mahembe

LUNCH TIME This was a moment of lovely communion, refreshment and an expression of the brotherly love of the Manchester congregation as they entertained all the couples

PLENARY SESSION
20 ESSENTIAL POINTS TO REINVIGORATE OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER

Rev. Adigun, at this point called out five representatives to read aloud a handout with important points interspersed with relevant explanations and/or admonitions on each point for the delegates. The points raised were really weighty and all delegates were advised to take them to heart.

APPRECIATION:
On behalf of the attending delegates and the church Rev. Adigun gave words of appreciation:
  • To all those who contributed towards the hosting of this year’s conference in Manchester, the first time this would happen in UK outside London.
  • Sister Judith Olowookere, who was unavoidably absent, for her efforts in holding the fort at Bolton until the Lord provided the Manchester church.
  • Bro Kofo Ogunshemi, for his labour of love
  • Bro. Tim Okusanya for supporting the work with his architectural skills
  • Bro.Chris Madojutimi for his labour of love
  • Bro. Lazarus for being available at all times when needed for the church work as well as accommodation logistics concerning this conference
  • Bro. Mark Mfandarahwa (the minister in charge) and his wife for their many unrelenting efforts concerning the gospel work and this conference.
The pastor, in closing, presented to all the delegates some areas in need of assistance and support towards the rest of the work in Manchester church, not forgetting that Birmingham and Bexley churches are also work in progress.

CLOSING PRAYER
The conference was brought to an end with a prayer by Bro Godfrey Affiah of the London church.
Click on the following link to see more pictures

COUPLES CONFERENCE: 21 OCTOBER 2010
 
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